QuantumMusings

I am willing to receive what you have to give me.

I am willing to see what you have to show me.

I am willing to give life to your work through my words and actions.

I am willing to breathe in your words into me.

I am willing to go forth from my heart without conditions and give to those that need AND want it.

I will go forth grounded, without ego or expectations.

I will put into effect your works here on Earth.

I have been looking beyond myself for something that is not there. It never was. It was within me all along - nicely contained awaiting my acknowledgement and acceptance, patiently observing until I stepped into my own power and presence.

I wonder what it must feel like to be so free…to have nothing but air under you, weightlessly adrift, yet soaring with a destination in mind. I suspect a bird knows all too well the wonders of that feeling. They can choose to flap their wings in quest of a direction or they can coast with the air’s movement. It has a certain eloquence about it; moving with nature by choice or by proxy. Of course they can fight nature’s direction and go against the wind, but how often so you see them do that?

Perhaps this is why we, as human beings, are enamored with them as the dip and dive with no visible reason. Quite often their path involves seemingly useless curves or arcs. But they know they are following nature’s path. Intelligently, they flow in harmony with full expectation of arriving at their intended destination. It does not bother them that they took an extra turn, elevated higher than necessary or had to wait a bit longer to get to where they wanted to be. They will get there and with the least amount of resistance.

Think about all of the wondrous sights they must see. Birds have the most perspective of any creature. They can see this world as a whole. They sail across our sky above buildings and tree-tops and can descend into the tiniest details fetching worms from below our grass blades. What one bird must see in a lifetime is priceless! A life directed by nature, and ultimately the universe, has provided them a unique existence.

Perhaps there are lessons to be learned – flow in harmony with the expectation that you will get to where you want to be and you will see what you need to see.

Often we want the most direct route to our destination, our goal. Any deviation on that path is predetermined to be a negative, a delay or a mistake. Perhaps a miss-step serves as an excuse for not getting there at all. “This happened and then that happened…” We place expiration dates on our goals and allow these perceived barriers to prevent us from reaching our desires.

Some of the most beautiful moments and discoveries are made off the beaten path. A wrong turn could show you a part of your world you had not seen before.

What would happen if released ourselves of this direct route concept and set adrift to see what we could see? We might be later than we intended to be. We might forget all together what the original trip was to begin with. We may get lost. We might miss something somewhere else.

I can hear the naysayers squawking, because I can hear the words in my own mind. Even as I write this, a little voice pounds away saying, “How ridiculous. You are going to waste time, waste energy on a fruitless mission. There is no guarantee that you will find anything of value on this little adventure.”

But then I hear the echoes of assurance saying “Some of the most beautiful moments and discoveries are made off the beaten path. A wrong turn could show you a part of your world you had not seen before.”

While all of the negativity may be true, you have to ask yourself what is the expectation for finding anything new and different by staying on the same course day after day… perhaps even for a lifetime? If you are seeking experiences different than what you currently have, then perhaps it is time to be adrift. Is it easy to do? No. Is it easily explainable to others? No. Does everyone understand it? No. Is it logical?  Yes.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. So is it logical to go forth and see what you can see without any assurances of what may be found? Absolutely. If the desire is to find something new, then by all means take a different path.

There is a warning that must follow. Not everyone will agree and quite often they will have opinions. Not everyone will understand and they may fear it. Not everyone will be supportive and they may try to come between it. But know this - those who are not a part of your current will get tired of fighting it. You will naturally find your own flock to support you. When you are tired of forging ahead, someone will move to the front of the flock, carrying the brunt of the current - supporting you, until you can take the lead again. I don’t know where the old adage “Birds of a feather flock together” came from, but I certainly understand it more now.

Though we may not fly, we can choose to see the world differently along our path. Find your wind and decide to take off. Affirm that you are worthy of the flight. Sing in harmony with your soul. Take some time to see what you can see.

All you have is yourself, your soul: protect it, honor it, love, know it and be it.

I will not bend until I break. ~ Draw boundaries.

I will not bleed until I am too weak. – Give only what you can.

I will not speak until I am hoarse. ~ Be silent.

I will not cry until I am drained. ~ Repurpose the energy.

I will not think until I am lost in the darkness. ~ Ask for direction. 

I will not run until I collapse. ~ Face it.

I will not compromise until I am broken. ~ Respect boundaries.

I will not hate until it consumes me. ~ See the truth.

I will not dwell upon things until I have no other place to be. ~ Sit still.

I will not love another when it takes my soul away. ~ Renegotiate the contract.

You cannot control the actions of others, you can only control yourself. You are only responsible for your actions. You can only offer guidance to others and hope for the best.

Several weeks ago my olderst (10) came to me with a confused look on his face and a heavy heart. You see he had been ‘bad’. He had broken a promise, lied to me and shucked his responsibilities all in one night.

Of course I let him know that I was not happy… not through yelling and anger… but with simple truth. Off he went to bed crying and ashamed. After an hour or so, he came to me.

He wanted to know how he could change his behaviour.

Tyler said, “Mom, I have some bad habits. I know what is the right thing to do, but these thoughts - negative thoughts - come to me. Its like a chock full of bad that built a wall in my head. It keeps me from processing the positive thoughts. How do I fix that?”

I replied, “Congratulations to you! You have just made the first two steps in changing who you are. First you realized that there was a problem. Something people fail to do all the time. Then you observed the behaviour to determine what was the cause. So, congrats to you. You are well on your way to finding a solution.”

A bit bewildered he asked, “You are proud of me?”

“Yes, I am. Not for the behaviour, but for you really thinking about it and wanting to change.” (beaming mom at this point, but maintaining the serious front.)

“Oh, OK. Well, this is an unexpected turn of events.” Tyler said, still in awe. “But how will I know when I have found a solution?”

“You will know because we will not have another conversation like this again.”

In all honesty, I cannot say to date if he actually found his solution, but I can tell you that we have not had that conversation since.

If I called your name, would you hesitate before you answered?

If I smiled at you, would I see the same compassion?

If I stepped in to embrace you, would flinch just a little?

If I reached for your hand, would you slightly inhale in anticipation?

If I reached out to move a strand of hair from your face, would you tilt your head away?

If I gazed into your eyes, would you feel compelled to quickly glance away?

Sometimes it is the smallest things that tell us so much. Look for them and you will find truth.